


Want

by k_itt



Series: Of Life... [5]
Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: (sort of), Alternate Universe, Angst, Background Relationships, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Pining, Romance, Slice of Life, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 10:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_itt/pseuds/k_itt
Summary: Ten wanted to forget.--This story happens between chapters 09 and 10 inOf Life, storms and sunlight. It can be read as a stand alone, but will contain spoilers.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Ji Hansol/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun (past), Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Series: Of Life... [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567363
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Want

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @Immaunreliablenarrator for proofreading this. <3 I keep saying you're the best and I mean it. 
> 
> This will probably be one of the only side stories that happens during the main plot of Of life, storms and sunlight, and is the main reason why I started writing the others.  
> There are small things in Ten's personality that just coulnd't fit in the main narrative, it being mostly from Jaehyun's pov, but builds lots in Ten's character, so I hope you both enjoy this piece and get to understand a little bit more about him.

Ten was usually proud of how he could hold his alcohol, but some days, like tonight, he felt cursed as it didn’t matter how much he had already drunk, he still couldn’t forget. His mind wouldn’t stop thinking, running back and forth to things he’d rather not know, would rather not have felt, not now; like the touch of Jaehyun’s hand on his waist, like the press of Jaehyun’s chest on his back, like the warmth of Jaehyun’s body so close to his own, like the intensity of those eyes, usually so soft, but dangerously heavy on Ten’s eyes, lips, body. And definitely, Ten had rather not know how hot Jaehyun’s soft lips felt against his skin, burning wet on his neck. He’d rather not know how husky Jaehyun sounded as he called Ten’s name between loud music for only Ten to hear him.

Ten tumbled on his thoughts and so on his feet before he could toss his shoes off somewhere inside Lucas’s living room, before his friend showed up beside him in his full Thor costume, blond wig and all.

“You look even more stupid with this thing on your head.” Ten giggled, socks being carelessly discarded on the floor and maybe, no, Ten was  _ at least _ a tiny bit drunk.

“Hey.” Lucas glared at him, but removed the wig anyway. “Had I come without it, people would probably mistake me for Chris Hemsworth, and you’d lose your spotlight, mister Devil.”

Ten laughed, hard, already on his slight bee-line to Lucas bedroom and flashbacks of his small surprise stage crossed through his mind. It had been Yunho’s idea, to have a special stage in the very middle of their studio’s Halloween party, but only a few knew about. It was supposed to be a surprise, after all, and not even their students could know about it – which meant extra rehearsals after (or before) class hours, but playing the Devil for a night, for a stage so unusual, had been worth it.

He felt evil indeed when Hansol’s stare found him in the middle of the dance floor, glaring, like he had sinned, with Jaehyun’s hands on his waist, like they weren’t supposed to, like they shouldn’t have, like they both had sinned.

Ten grunted at the thought – it would be so much better if he was really drunk – and tossed his backpack in a corner of Lucas’s white bedroom. His lower back was somewhat killing him and his shoulders cracked as he stretched right when Lucas joined him inside the room.

“Right.” Ten snorted. “Because no one would notice your fake muscles.”

Lucas shrugged with a high pitch sound beside him and soon the fake-muscled Thor’s shirt from the Halloween costume was peeled off of Lucas’s real muscles. Lucas had a great body, and probably didn’t need the fake one, but truth be told, Chris Hemsworth was probably twice Lucas’s size – fake muscles included – so as much as it looked ridiculous – especially with the blond wig on – it probably fit the whole Thor idea. It sure fit Lucas’s goofy persona, at last. Ten’s lips curved into a soft smile as he stared at his friend and it was this silliness that made Lucas, Lucas.

Lucas didn’t question when Ten made his way to their small group at the makeup room – arranged solely for the party and where Kun more than gladly helped those who needed some more colors or some more scars to complete their costumes, while dressed as Waldo. Lucas didn’t ask why Taeyong followed him in and pulled Ten out of their small group before he even said hi. Lucas didn’t ask what they talked about in hushed tones when Ten came back, alone. Lucas didn’t ask why he kept pushing the Harry Potter version of Hendery out to bring them colored drinks – they looked like potions in his hands while dressed like that. Lucas didn’t ask anything, and he probably didn’t need to, as he probably already knew.

Lucas also didn’t ask, and he was probably almost, if not as drunk as Ten was, when Ten’s eyes ran across his shirtless body. That whole night had been a mess, Ten thought, as he smirked before their gazes met and Lucas smirked back, but shook his head.

“Lucaaas.” he whined. Ten was a mess, he also thought, as a single stare at his friend’s toned body brought his mind back to that dance floor, and how hot it was, and how good it felt to have  _ him _ , not Lucas, so close.

Ten had thought he was imagining things, at first, when Jaehyun texted him late at night, when he called, small talk mixed with concerned talks and then just their usual talk – talks he was so used to having inside his living room and he had missed them more than he should for those long weeks Jaehyun stopped showing up for Hansol. Weeks where they actually never talked so much, and probably met just the same as when Jaehyun dated Hansol, but in other places instead.

Ten had thought he was creating things in his head when Jaehyun’s touches lingered on his skin longer than usual, when Jaehyun’s eyes sparkled just a little bit more than usual – considering the sadness Ten hated to watch inside them on this last couple of months – every time they talked, when Jaehyun smiled at him like  _ that _ .

Ten had thought he had most certainly imagined that last week, when Jaehyun texts multiplied on his phone, when their talking ended way past midnight and wandered around paths they never really did before. When Jaehyun’s stares carried something Ten had thought he had seen before, maybe once or twice inside his shared apartment with Hansol, but not at Hansol. When Jaehyun’s eyes landed on his lips, like  _ that _ .

Ten was sure he hadn’t imagined all that as they danced together at the party, their friends around them before it was like there was nobody but them, eyes glued on each other as they pulled each other closer without a single touch, and smiles so bright it hurt. He was goddamn sure he wasn’t imagining, he hadn’t just imagined all of that when Jaehyun’s hands (finally) landed on him and their bodies were so close Ten could hear Jaehyun’s deep breath before he felt them, hot, on his already hot skin.

“Ten.” Lucas’s voice sounded like a warning, but memories from the dance floor had already engraved on his body and probably so did the alcohol – fucking finally!

“Please.”

Ten whispered, one step closer to where Lucas stood, still shirtless and, yes, probably as drunk as Ten as he snorted, and soon large hands pulled Ten’s waist and lips craved his own, full and demanding. Ten would surely be a mess tonight.

He and Lucas, what they had, it was not a friend with benefits kind of thing. At least Ten wouldn’t describe it like that as it was not that rare for him to wake up naked between Lucas’s arms and sheets, but it wasn’t like they did it often either. It happened, sometimes, and their own reasons were probably selfish, as much as they weren’t.

Lucas had always knew, probably even before Ten  _ really _ knew it himself, that Ten’s heart was not only his - Ten’s - as it was partly and quietly longing for someone else. Just like Lucas’s heart, it was always waiting for someone else, someone that wasn’t Ten, to completely fill it.

And just like that, when their bodies hungered for more and the alcohol lifted their inhibitions, but their heart couldn’t withstand another someone they had just met, it was on nights like this that it happened.

Ten thought it was a mistake, at first, when it first happened after they dragged their drunk asses inside Lucas’s small apartment after some party. Ten thought it would change things between them, forever, but it didn’t, when Lucas kissed his temple good morning with a cup of coffee and his usual, every-day smile.

Ten’s heart still beat a little bit faster and a tad bit happier when Jaehyun joined him, Taeyong, Johnny and Yuta – no Hansol, as usual – for pizza later that night. And saw how Luca’s eyes glimmered when  _ she _ entered the room one week later, but his smile cooled slightly when the boyfriend followed her.

It was quite a relief, when Lucas kissed him tonight, and soon lips followed a known pattern down Ten’s neck. It felt different, completely different from Jaehyun’s lips and Ten knew he shouldn’t compare, but he couldn’t help it this time, now that he knew how it felt. But it felt good, nonetheless, and he  _ needed _ this as it had been long months since he fell asleep on someone else’s sheets and tonight, after feeling too much from having Jaehyun too close, he just needed something, anything.

Lucas’s skin was warm underneath the coldness of his own fingertips and the taller gasped at the touch, but didn’t pulled them away before he crowded Ten against the bed and Ten wished he had taken off his many necklaces before Lucas’s clumsy hands tried to loosen up the buttons of his shirt, the silvery chains getting in their way.

He ended up doing it by himself and he couldn’t help but think it could have all gone to hell, had it been someone else’s hands; Jaehyun’s hands. 

But when his back crashed against the soft mattress of Lucas’s bed, his shirt and jewelry finally out of the way, like the bottom part of Lucas’s costume, and Lucas leaned over him and the growing bulge inside Lucas’s briefs rubbed against the groin between his legs, it was when Ten finally stopped thinking.

It was usually a mess, when they slept together: hands searching what they couldn’t really reach, lips craving for what they couldn’t really have, limbs brushing in want and hunger of what they shouldn’t, but that’s what they’d found, and it worked. It worked incredibly well as they tossed pieces of clothing off until naked body tangled another naked body and they could just feel, and not think. Until just touching wasn’t enough anymore and whimpering moans mixed with groans between hungry kisses.

And when Lucas’s hard cock stopped rubbing against his own and slipped between his cheeks and the mattress, it was when Lucas groaned, louder, and then stopped, like they used to. Their breathing sounded as heavy as they were when Lucas pulled away and left the bed, and Ten closed his eyes as he waited with an extended hand for the bottle of lube.

“Do you want me to leave?” Lucas raspy voice sounded almost sweet, knowing, and Ten let himself smile at that.

“No.”

There’s this thing about sex, anal sex, that was, that it required a lot more touching, a lot more caring and a lot more patience than other kinds of sex, and a lot more intimacy, at least in Ten’s eyes. Ten had never been a prude and he did one night stands with strangers and did fuck on the first date, if he wanted. He didn’t have any problem with any of that. But there was this thing about having someone else touching you, like, really touching you inside, that Ten had always felt was too intimate, too private, to simply let someone touch him like that, even Lucas.

Lucas once said that Ten was in fact a hopeless romantic that loved a dick inside his ass – Ten smacked Lucas head quite hard that time, but somehow, he had to agree with that. There was this thing about having someone else prepare you, to know that you’re ready, to make you feel good even before you’re really ready that Ten couldn’t allow someone else, someone who would probably do it once, without much care, without sharing what Ten really felt and then leave, to simply touch him like  _ that. _ Not even Lucas, as Lucas was just Lucas, his friend and one of the people Ten loved the most, but they didn’t share a love like  _ that _ .

That; that intimacy, that feeling of giving himself completely to someone, to someone else’s care, fearless and fully, that something else, was way beyond just sex.

Ten felt Lucas lips back on his neck when he opened the bottle and the coldness of the gel-like hit his skin under his fingers and just like that, with the warmness of the softness of lips on his neck, his mind played the worst trick ever, at least in a moment like that, and he was back at the party with Jaehyun’s lips on his skin and the moan that escaped his lips sounded way too regretful to his own ears.

“You’re alright?”

Lucas had probably got that, too, when he asked and Ten couldn’t face his friends eyes when he turned his face at him, eyes remaining closed as he muttered.

“Kiss me. Hard.” he breathed. “Make me forget.”

And Lucas did, at least for the time being, their mouths crashing hard together and long fingers around Ten’s dick until Ten was ready – as ready as he could be that night – and soon enough it was Lucas inside him and it had never been that hard to forget. But Ten couldn’t allow himself to remember either, as he tried to focus on the pleasure of his body as Lucas pushed inside him from behind and he buried his head in a pillow, arms tight around it as his own life depended on that, and for now, his mind did depend on that to not wander, far, and where it shouldn’t – until he came between his fingers, and his mind went blank for the few seconds it took for Lucas to ride his own orgasm from him; until Lucas left him and the sound of the used condom being tossed filled the room, before Lucas dumped himself on the bed beside him.

Later that night, his mind wandered again, and memories, not only from the party, filled every corner of Ten’s dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> There are two other stories I intend to write and they're about Jungwoo, and Johnny and Taeyong. Please let me know if you're interest? I really want to write more about those characters, but I'm lacking some inspiration to put things down into words.
> 
> [@twitter](https://twitter.com/10queso)   
>  [@curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/10queso)


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